It's raining..MICE?!?!?!

This morning I opened the front door, ready to start my day. Then I looked down. On my doorstep were two mice, lying back to back to each other, execution style. Oh my! Was this Mouseeo and Mouseiet? A tragic story of a mice romance gone haywire? Then I looked to my left and saw my cat (Rat-Tina). She met my gaze with a look of satisfication on her face. It was then I knew that SHE was the puppetmaster and the mice just victims of her cruel game. I would have taken a picture, but I was scared if I got too close the poor mice zombies might jump up and bite me. Plus I didn't want to give our readers nightmares. As traumatized as I was, I knew the day must go on so I headed to the baby sitters. As I got back in my car there it was: another slain rodent lying in the grass. I shuddered and continued on my way. I checked in with my mom as I drove to work and she confirmed another casualty. She caught a mouse in her mouse trap last night. Yup, he was dead too. Goodness! So all you mice out there, if you are reading this, please watch your back. You never know what is around the corner, it could be the mice reaper ready to take you home. Happy Thursday ya'll!

i'm like my own version of fleetwood mac...

Amy, we are here for you boo.

Let's all have a moment of silence for those who are no longer with us. Bug friends, compadres, homies. This goes out to all the departed insects of the world.

Today was a SUCCESS!

Nobody got their awkward phone exchange aired on the radio.
Nobody fell down and scraped their legs just walking into work.
Nobody did beaver impersonations in front of random solicitors.

Today's Forecast:Rain

assume the position

A Dream is A Wish Your Heart Makes

These last few nights I have dreamt some pretty awesome dreams. Some awesome but some just plain freaky. Like I dreamt Ahhndrea was munching out on a cake like this. And Amy and I ran around a carousel like this. Then I got lost and my two “friends” left me so I did like this.
We had a lesson on filing insurance from this guy. Some nice people threw some frogs on me that looked like this.

Finally we went to the pawn shop to pick out some video games like this.

introducing...

Fisher Price makes a "Cougar" now?

A wise man once said...

"The road to he'll is paved with bad punctuation."

my piggly wiggly doesn't carry them...

but SOMEBODY around here's selling them. that's for sure.

this one goes out to all my homies out there

Bernard Pivot

We were on our way to eat lunch at Right Way when we ran into our good friend,

James Lipton.

He said, "Hello, ladies. I just want to tell you how much I enjoy following your blog. Since today is your 1-month blogging anniversary, I would love to ask you some questions, made famous by the late, great Bernard Pivot. Feel free to post them on your blog."
We were so excited, how could we turn this man down? So, we took him up on his offer.

Andrea:

1. What is your favorite word? Buttknuckle
2. What is your least favorite word? Butter
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Happiness
4. What turns you off? Saliva
5. What is your favorite curse word? “Bitch” (it’s versatile)
6. What sound or noise do you love? Rubbing my only two quarters together
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Squeaky balloons
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pro basketball player….but, as a dude.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Prostitution
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “what took you so long?”

Amy:

1. What is your favorite word? sweet
2. What is your least favorite word? the “p” word
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Good music
4. What turns you off? conceit
5. What is your favorite curse word? damnit
6. What sound or noise do you love? laughter
7. What sound or noise do you hate? crickets
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Food critic
9. What profession would you not like to do? Working in a slaughterhouse
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? “Yayyyyyyy!”

Paige:

1. What is your favorite word? Kickya (As in Kickya in the butt)
2. What is your least favorite word? points
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Our winning blog. Duh.
4. What turns you off? Meanie heads (say it: meanie heyuud)
5. What is your favorite curse word? Sonofamotherfudge.
6. What sound or noise do you love? My little boo laughing
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Vacuum
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Fashion designer (Project Runway=yes please!)
9. What profession would you not like to do? Shopping cart wrangler
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Good job!"

Behold, folks. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Our episode will air on TACC 9, August 15, 2013 and 2am! Set your DVRs!

That's what friends are for...

best. greeting. card. ever.

Speedy Car

Who wants a ride to hell? Anyone?

Denied.

Attention Big Lots Customers:

This pen is only for looks. You can't actually write with it. Thought I would share the news. You're welcome gang!

OLWFT Book Club

Not that we have a current reading list, but if we did, we'd add these 3 titles to it.

Are we sure we didn't write these?

"Virgil comes home from work one day to a message on his answering machine-his girlfriend is breaking up with him. This news should be devastating, but instead it's deeply troubling, because Virgil doesn't know the woman and doesn't have any memory of being in a relationship with her. The event sends Virgile into a tailspin of unrelenting self-analysis, causing him to question his memory, his sanity, even his worth as a lover."
AWKWARD

And, because we love appalling behavoir...

"EVEN MORE PUBLIC APOLOGIES--

AND THE APPALLING BEHAVIOR THAT INSPIRED THEM"

This book needs no explanation.

"Every now and then, right in the middle of an ordinary day, a woman rebels, kicks up her heels, and commits a small act of liberation.

What would you do, if you were going to break out and away? Go AWOL from Weight Watchers and spend an entire day eating every single thing you want-and then some? Start a dating service for people over fifty to reclaim the razzle-dazzle in your life-or your marriage? Seek comfort in the face of aging, look for love in the midst of loss, find friendship in the most surprising of places?

Imagine that the people in these wonderful stories-who do all of these things and more-are asking you: What would you do, if nobody was looking?"

Bang Bang Choo Choo Train Go on Andrea and shake that thang!

We missed you today Ahhhhndrea!!!


The Trinity was not complete......

***NEWS FLASH***

Paige Lee has NEVER seen THE GOONIES.

Happy St. Patrick's Day to my preciouses.....

Man! It's "Lucky Break" Week!

Congratulations to you, Paige! BAZINGA!

Talk to me boy....

CONGRATS

Andrea, Congratulations on being cast in True Blood Season 4. Here is a sneak peek from your episode.....

Hey You Guys!

Remember back in the day when life was fun and awkward. Those were the good ol' days...we were so young and innocent.
Then February turned to March and suddenly everything started to suck!

not winning, duh...

Open Where?!?!

Dang IT.
That's what I get for not following directions.

Happy National Nutrition Month

Now where's my cheeseburger?

But I can't defy gravity....or can I?

Move Over Watson

tacko addict rant

Andrea: 2 hours away from TACKO BAR!!!!!!!!!!!!

There better some be some left when I get there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dagdernit.

Can you tell what I think about all the time???
That’s right, food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Amy: Why wouldn’t there be any when you get there???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????????

Andrea: B/C THERE HASN’T BEEN ANY IN 6 MONTHS AND EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THIS HOSPITAL IS GOING TO BE LINED UP LIKE THE 100 YARD DASH TO GET THERE AND THEY ARE GOING TO EAT IT ALL! EVERY BITE!

Amy: Holy shit

Andrea: I KNOW

Amy: I love ya’ll

Anti Gravity Yoga....Hello Flying Wedgie!

Anyone game?

The Right Stuff

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh the right stuff.
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh the right stuff.

This will cheer you up A-Wizzle...

Tomorrow is PAYDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Sorry, my bad...

Tomorrow is PAYDAY!!!!!!!!




Go crazy!

my (sugar-coated) sentiments exactly

this is what i feel like doing to everyone today, although i can assure you that i won't be nearly as sweet...or cute...
and i would probably include a bit of middle-finger. fo' sho'.

When you're LOST in the Twilight Zone

You say things like:

“a lot of things are just always going to take longer b/c you really have to go around your elbow to get do your booty”

‘”Play in it”. Sounds like a large time.….. SONOFABISH.”